It's often embarrassing to admit in mixed company (as in when I'm mixed in with people who actually have some brain cells left) but I love reality TV. I'm what you might call a reality TV junkie. I love 'em.
I'm old enough to have watched the first season of The Real World, granddaddy of the reality genre. Heck I'm even old enough to remember back to 1973 when that very first slice of reality, An American Family, first aired on PBS. That was before the editing became slick and reality became a money maker.
These days when I need to escape from my own reality, I'm inclined to watch shows like Toddler & Tiaras, Survivor, Project Runway and yes, I'll say it...Big Brother. And don't get me started on The Real Housewives franchise. Those ladies are over the top fabulous entertainment. It's like you can't believe people would actually open their homes (and families) to be filmed, edited and laid bare in someone else's version of their life. And there's always a good helping of staged drama and bad behavior. All for money.
I realize some of these shows are contests of a sort and I appreciate that. But still, every act within the contest is filmed and edited and used to create a story of the producer's choosing. So even though I love to watch the drama and comedy and ridiculous actions that arise from this "reality," I'm not sure why anyone would sign up for it.
Even the shows with a gentler, more informative approach like Little People, Big World are shaped, formed and edited to tell the story that will get the biggest ratings. And in the process, the participants open themselves, and their community, up to judgment from nameless, faceless viewers like me. Viewers who, in reality, know nothing of the subject's real lives at all.
And that is the point of this post. I've just been made aware that there is an unschooling family about to start filming a reality show based on their unschooling lives. I've said it before and I'll say it again, no good can come from a reality show about unschooling no matter who is the star. Unschooling does not work in sound bites. It shouldn't be presented to the world through editing by producers who are not intimately familiar with unschooling. Unschooling is a choice that requires you to examine your core beliefs about how children learn and thrive. It requires a paradigm shift to step away from a school-based life and towards a life-learning family dynamic.
I've already cringed when I've seen supposed unschooling families show up on Wife Swap. Predictably, the unschoolers were portrayed as nutty, over the top and ridiculously laissez-faire in their parenting choices. This is NOT my unschooling reality. And I say "supposed unschooling families" because I have no idea if these families understand unschooling or not. That's my point. Unschooling was presented, talked about and ridiculed in each episode and the family in question, in that moment, represented my community. Poorly.
I, for one, do not want my unschooling community to be represented by one family, no matter who that family is or how wonderful their lives may be. Unschooling requires thought, daily examination and constant tweaking to get it to work best. It's an individual journey for each family that thrives when it is NOT under the microscope of school based comparisons, mainstream expectations and, yes, a TV audience.
19 reasons to keep on blogging:
Mary Gold, I love you. It would have taken me many days and thousands of words to hit the nail on the head like you just did. Thank you!
Someone who is really fired up might like to start an online petition using: http://www.petitiononline.com/petition.html
Mary,
I couldn't agree with you more!
Thank you for stating it so well!♥
Hell, yes... I totally agree!
I also have serious concerns about one family representing an entire community. Is is, in my opinion, unwise and irresponsible. It is well known that words and film have power, and we have all seen that media can portray those who have chosen a path that is not that of the dominant culture in an unflattering light.
Each family finds it's own direction, in it's own way and in it's own time. It is, I think, imprudent to suggest otherwise.
We have been on this path for many years, and my children are young adults. My point of view has changed many times, as we have changed and grown as a family.
And lastly, we are all our own experts because we are the ones walking in our own shoes---or kicking them off.
Thank you, Mary! You've summed up my thoughts exactly (well, except for the enjoying reality tv part, since I completely do NOT get the appeal of reality tv) and I absolutely agree that I don't want any one family defining unschooling as a lifestyle.
I also worry what it does to children to invite a reality show into your home and life. The potential for damage is incalculable.
Funny, a friend and I were just talking about this and saying there should be an unschoolers vote about public appearances. :-P
What Debra said...and everyone else for that matter! Thank you for posting this. I don't believe that people who do reality shows with young children have their child's best interests at heart....the motives are questionable at best.
As a former unschooler (still in the heart, but not in the actual application - for the moment) I would not want this show to air. It opens up unschooling to all kinds of scrutiny a.k.a. gov't insight. Depending on how the family is portrayed we may all find ourselves having to adhere to new regulations, testing, and who knows what else.
1. You are so right. This has disaster written all over it.
2. If you haven't already done so, try watching Millionaire Matchmaker. Hilarious.
With the fact that so far unschooling has been portrayed very poorly by the media, I can not believe that anyone would want to do a reality show. I can't even openly talk about unschooling with my family now, what's it going to be like when they catch wind of this? I'm not looking forward to this. However, the thought just came to me that perhaps that even though we don't agree with this family's motives; perhaps they will be a catalyst for us unschoolers to step up to the plate even more and truly stand up for what we stand for?
What a truly terrible idea.
Well said, Mary.
O.M.G.!!
I think this is terrible.
I was once asked if I wanted to be in a show and represent unschooling and that they would come film my family my response was: NO WAY JOSE!
Agree with all of you!
YES! YES! This has been a conversation in my home recently, and no good can come of it. And the kids...
I guess this blows me away.. the idea that unschoolers (unschooling itself?) could or in some way *needs* the change that media exposure would bring.
Sorry no. I love you (unschooling) just the way you are.
Yes, yes, yes to this:
"Unschooling requires thought, daily examination and constant tweaking to get it to work best. It's an individual journey for each family that thrives when it is NOT under the microscope of school based comparisons, mainstream expectations and, yes, a TV audience."
Thank you for summing it up so beautifully.
We don't unschool, but I feel the same way every time they portray another Pagan family as silly, completely nuts, or, and worse, endangering their children.
True dat!
Well... the one problem I have with your post is that it seems you don't consider other humans capable of being thoughtful and discerning those same truths that you know in your heart about unschooling. Just as so many of your (and other unschoolers') posts assume that children in tradition school aren't capable of imagination, this is a fairly narrow view.
I was unschooled. My brother was not. We were both very happy and ended up doing similar things with our lives. Many don't even know that unschooling exists. If they watch this show and look into unschooling on their own, they may well find blogs like yours.
Peace.
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