Things that make me go "Huh?" #2 ...Parents and Teens

When I wrote my first installment of Things that make me go "Huh?", aka The "Huh?" Report, aka "WTF?", it was with tongue planted firmly in cheek. I mean c'mon, I don't really care if people wear their pajamas outside. I don't do it personally, but hell you can wear pasties and a thong to the mall if that's what floats your boat.

Mostly I think I just really liked the word pajamafication and needed a place to use it.

But I digress.

This week's installment of Things that make me go "Huh?" definitely falls under the WTF?
category and this time I'm dead serious. In a nutshell, I just don't get the bullshit that passes for a parent/teen relationship in our modern society. I mean WTF people?

I followed a link on Comcast yesterday to a discussion that caught my eye. The title was "I QUIT! I don't want to be a mom anymore!" and my interest was piqued. We've all had those moments. I thought I could relate in some way to what was being discussed. Maybe even offer some understanding and ideas.

WRONG!

Here's the opening post:

Where to start? Boys, bras and cleaning her room? This is the stuff that makes a mother so disrespectful of her child's very existence as to joke about that tasteless bumper sticker? And why can't people believe that it's not the teen, it's the adult's desire to control the teen that generates the conflict and fuels the flames of those simmering adolescent hormonal fires.

There were 48 pages of discussion that followed. While some posters suggested therapy for the homicidal mom, and a few teens wrote with pleas for understanding (but why would anyone listen to them?), so many more posters commiserated, agreed, bemoaned the existence of teenagers and wished horrible retribution on their offspring.

Isn't this a lovely sentiment?


Huh? WTF?! So sad and so unnecessary.

I spent yesterday with my two teens. We each awoke at a different time, according to our own body's rhythms. We took some space for ourselves and our morning rituals and then enjoyed breakfast together. We talked, we laughed, we enjoyed each other's company. I helped them research poi and fire dancing. They helped me shop for groceries. Our lives are good. I like my kids and they like me. We don't fight. We do communicate. We're not perfect and I'm far from the perfect parent.

My life story?

But really, why sweat the small stuff? Why would anyone let the little crap get in the way of their relationship with their kids? WTF?

Qacei's hair is currently pink and purple. Conor has multiple piercings and about 3 dozen empty soda cans littering the floor of his bedroom. Sometimes they're grumpy. Sometimes they question my decision making abilities. So what? Life is not about showing off for the neighbors. It is about figuring out what we love, what we can do in this world, who we can connect with and what we're going to to do with our one precious life. That's the important stuff and we work on it together. It's peaceful here. I like that.

I thought about posting some of this stuff on that discussion board. I could tell them about unschooling and peaceful parenting. I could tell them that life can be much, much better by releasing a lot of the control rather than by tightening it up. But I don't think I will.

Most likely the replies would be in one of two forms:

1. They'd tell me I was just lucky to have two "easy" kids. (Um, no.)

or

2. They'd tell me I was lying, that no one can really be this content. (Um, yes.)

In other words I'd be dismissed. So it's not worth my time. But I do feel for all the teens out there living with so much disrespect. I'd love to be able to wave a magic wand that would change things. At the very least I'd like to report all those nasty parents to someone who would actually do something to make things better for these teens.

Hmmmm....there's a button at the bottom of each message post.


If only.