I think I gained 10 pounds just by looking at that thing. But Oh My God! it was delicious and oh so appreciated. Kind of like a big old helping of soul soothing chocolate morphine. Thanks to everyone who helped make that afternoon so special. I needed it!I've already posted about my birthday morning surprise of the horrifying Terror Eyes. My day got better from there luckily. The family took such good care of me. They lovingly delivered my favorite lattes to my
We dined on take-out Indian food, yum, and had our own little private birthday celebration. They gifted me with beauty, comfort and sweet music. Jon gave me this absolutely stunning necklace that I can't wait to actually get out and wear.
Conor gave me one of my very favorite gifts-SOCKS! I just love really nice socks, don't you? And Qacei came through with the soundtrack to Juno. Gee, how did she ever know I would want that? All in all, a good day.But as often happens, the joy was tempered with some more difficult moments as well. Donna was not able to join us as she's still in the hospital recovering from pneumonia. She's seems to be on the mend (THANK YOU for all of your good wishes) and we spent a lot of time together laughing with her in her hospital room. But you know we all wished she could have been out and about and raising hell with the best of them. Soon, though. Soon.
Part 2 of my "Things That I Wish Could Have Gone Better" this weekend involved the tangled web of relationships, families, groups and our children. It's left me thinking a lot about what it means to really support and respect our kids. It's been hard for me, but I've come to understand that sometimes doing what is right for our own kids is all we can do. And unfortunately what is right for one person's child may be exactly wrong for another's. And sometimes, we just have to let that Be.
Qacei's specific needs have changed over the years, but the basics have remained the same. She needs me to listen to her. She needs me to believe in her. She needs me to create a safe space for her to work through both joy and pain. Once again I have had to request that friends give her that space. I've had to advocate for her and in the process I probably hurt some feelings. That part sucks. But advocating for my kids is a big part of being an unschooling parent. This isn't the first time and it won't be the last. Because have I mentioned it lately? This is one of the coolest people I have ever met and I HAVE to be there for her.
Hopefully friends will get through the muck of hurt feelings. But if not, I understand that they too will do what is right for their own families. And for that, I honor them.
Namaste.
9 comments:
OMG that cake looks so darn good...and I'm alergic to chocolate!
Lovely post. Happy birthday! You're very blessed with such good friends & a happy family.
Qacei is one of those people who gives me hope for the future of the world, and you are one of those people who I am very glad has been entrusted with the care and feeding of someone that gives me hope for the future of the world, cause you're not so bad yourself. I don't know the situation, but I still know you did the right thing.
Happy belated birthday, and thanks for being born. I appreciate it.
Qacei's eyes are so wise and deep. Sending lots love your way, Tennessee style.:)
>>I don't know the situation, but I still know you did the right thing.>>
Well, I did the only thing that I felt was left to me under the circumstances. Now I'm left feeling like people are joining forces to be mad at me over it. Still I think it was what I had to do for Qacei.
Life is complicated. Thanks for the kind words. I'm needing them.
Happy belated Birthday :)
A belated Happy Birthday to you! That cake looks awesome!
((((((((mary)))))))))))))
I honor your courage and commitment to your daughter, your family, and especially mary, that intuitive, ever evolving mother goddess in you.
And although I too don't know details and wouldn't need to know in order to identify with the courage and faith it takes to advocate on behalf of our children.
It's a rarity that I've won any popularity contests with people regarding some of the divergent paths I/we have chosen (...homebirth, no vaccinations, homeopathy, Waldorf, no Waldorf, homeschool, to finally our ever changing Unschool living philosophy)
I'm realizing with my own 14 year old that there are times I must speak or act on his behalf. And the majority of time I have his permission or at least his understanding that he needs guidance or help.
I remember when he was 6-7 years old and had a particular playmate whose mother was no less than passive aggressive toward Wes, and I intervened in a variety of ways before ultimately separating him/us so to end the opportunity for more hurtfulness.
There have been other times with other examples, but it boils down to this for me...
I have stewardship over my son and a responsibility to walk beside him as he masters the skills he'll need to care for himself and move out into the bigger landscape of his life.
There are some negotiations & situations he/they (our teens) aren't ready or willing to tackle just yet...and that's when I...you...we put on our Goddess Mother capes and slide down the pole to the momma mobile!
It's all learning...whether our children are watching us and are gaining new skills through their vision of adults they trust, or they advocate for themselves also learning--sometimes through their successes and equally as true, through their difficulties & pain.
Your children are so very fortunate to have a conscious, compassionate, and REAL woman going the distance for them when life gets complicated!
mmm chocolate morphine.
Qacei is a lucky girl and you are a lucky mom. I am in hopes that your situation will become more comfortable for everyone.
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