Words, words, words

I was surfing around the blogoshpere the other day. On one particular blog a mom was giving a quick moment by moment account of their day. Time consuming, but a cute idea I thought. As I read it though I noticed that several times the mom's entry was "Fought with ______", naming one of her kids. It struck me as odd and I couldn't put my finger on why at first. After all, the other entries were about having fun and being together.

Then I realized what it was. It was her choice of the word "fought." We have our grumpy days here, don't get me wrong. We have days when our agendas just don't seem to match up very well. We can get short tempered with each other or say something in the heat of the moment, but I don't think you could call what we do fighting.

According to dictionary.com, a fight can be defined as "A confrontation between opposing groups in which each attempts to harm or gain power over the other, as with bodily force or weapons." I try hard not to oppose my kids. I'm on their side in this world, even when we have differing views on a particular topic. I also don't wish to gain power over them by force or otherwise. And obviously I don't ever want to harm them. So no, we definitely don't fight in this sense of the word.

Then there was this entry," To engage in a quarrel; argue." Okay, maybe that's closer. But then again I'm not going to "engage" myself or my kids in any kind of quarrel. Why would I do that when we're on the same side? Isn't it better to discuss, debate or strategize? Maybe there are times when they try to engage me in battle, but I don't take the bait. (This took a long time for me to understand BTW, but I think I've got it.) It's not personal and it doesn't happen often even with two adolescents in the house.

Reading on further I found :

• " To contend with physically or in battle." (Nope that one doesn't fit.)
• " To wage or carry on (a battle)." (We try not to "carry on" thank you.)
• " To contend with or struggle against" (Note the word against.)
• "To try to prevent the development or success of." (HELL NO!)

The words we choose really do matter. If we think "fighting", if we talk about "fighting", if we write that we're "fighting" with our kids, then this is what we're carrying around with us. This is what we're layering onto our perception of our life with our families. If we think in the positive, we live in the positive.

I'm positive I'm not going to fight with anyone tonight. :o)